


We Can't Go Back

by Yitian325



Category: Oasis (Band)
Genre: Gallaghercest | Liam Gallagher/Noel Gallagher Incest, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:22:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24926890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yitian325/pseuds/Yitian325
Summary: "I never turned to you though, pretending not to notice even you already knew I did.Sometimes I eyed you back ,our eyes met as we both were stealing glimpses at each other.I smiled you that silly smile and you smiled back, suddenly playing the chords wrong for no reason."
Relationships: Liam Gallagher & Noel Gallagher, Liam Gallagher/Noel Gallagher
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	We Can't Go Back

"I still remember everything."

"We were still so young back then. Manchester's hot as hell in summer, fucking burning weather you don't even wanna touch your guitar, and how you used to play it every fucking day.We hid in mam's little garden,eating ice cream and perspiring,a lot, gonna spend our time. You thought about nothing else but bands and writing songs,doing loads of drugs while I did nothing but picking fights with other boys and skipping classes at school. Not until years later did I find out I'm into music too,and I'm born a frontman,you know what I mean, like how fucking capital my voice is. "

"You used to stare at me a lot when we were on stage, you really did, eyeing me up like that with all the people looking at us, watching every single one of my movements as you play your fucking guitar. Smile always despite me when you did , as I was singing my heart out on stage and your weren't concentrating on the gig but on, god knows, me. I never turned to you though, pretending not to notice even you already knew I did.Sometimes I eyed you back ,our eyes met as we both were stealing glimpses at each other.I smiled you that silly smile and you smiled back, suddenly playing the chords wrong for no reason."

"We quarreled loads of times,and sometimes even got into serious fights.You always said that I'm fucking ruining my voice with all those alcohol and cigarettes,so I never could reach the higher keys you want. In the end you had to sing them yourself. We worked fucking well though when it came to singing. I once said that you were writing shit songs, but just to rile you up. I just needn't tell you what a fucking genius you are,and that's my brother, am I lucky, la. You never told me whether you liked my singing neither. It made me really down sometimes."

"You said, Jesus. Can't you just pronounce properly just for once, uh, for fuck sake. I did sing some words strangely, I did it on purpose and it turned out fine after all. So I decided to sing it once again in front of your face. You stared at me for a while with your typical Noely G face and smirked:Fuckin' twat you are, Liam. So am I. Sometimes you wrote things I did't understand, or words I couldn't recognize. you always loved to make fun of me after I missed a beat,lifting your eyebrow and faking that high-pitched voice, Liam, Liaaam, little boy, for god sake tell me, are you by any chance literate? You wouldn't tell me how to do it unless I begged you, like how I did when we' were still kids at home and I'm begging you to spare some candies for me, and was I good at it, literally worked everytime as long as I did that pathetic and lovable little voice, Noel, Noely please, gimme some, will you? It really killed you. I mean I'm hardly literate all right, I know that. But it doesn't stop me from being a colossal rock and roll star right? I'm well good looking and have a celestial voice, that's enough for a life."

“We were shouting at each other at that interview, making a real scene.I know you weren't angry at me at all, neither was I. We hold different opinions and we are both way too fucking stubborn. But I respect your thoughts. Though sometimes you acted like a real cunt and it makes me wanna punch you right on the face, I really did. You stammer when you're anxious, but I won't laugh at you, never. I know too clearly where it comes from. I accidentally saw our shitty father beat you once, smacking you right on the face so hard you nearly fell, blinking, nosebleed streaking down your cheek, staining your shirt. You didn't fight him back, But the way you glared at him really frightened me. So I escaped, knowing that I'm being a coward. When you went back to our room it's all dark and you lied down on your bad with a sigh. I crawled to you and hugged you, weeping silently. I whispered Noely, Noely, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. You hugged me back so tightly I could hardly breathe. I know you were crying too, all those sounds you made to sniff your tears back. You were always trying to be tough in front me and our mam, always hiding your fragility that you don't even made a sound when you cry. And sometimes it's getting really hard for you, for you to make up all that toughness that doesn't originally belongs to you and it's fucking unfair, I know, for you to underwent these shit, to be the one beated by our father. But you never complained.  
I touched your face and you winced, moving my hands away so I decided to kiss your cheeks instead.You tousled my hair and we lied there together for a while, not saying anything. Then you said Liam, kid, 'm gonna take you and mam out when I get some money, otherwise I'll really kill him, I mean it.You were trying to sound placid I could tell, but your voice was all strange, so hoarse it actually sounded like you were choking. I heard you gnash your teeth and when I looked up, I could see your face shining with tears in the moonlight. I was too scared to say anything. Then finally I whispered Noel, why doesn't he punch me instead,I want him to beat me to substitute you. You'd pinched my arms so hard I nearly cried again. If he do that, you snarled, if he only dares to touch you, I'm going to cut him up with a knife and grab all his guts out.Won't let hin touch you ever, Liam you hear me? You slapped my face a bit too hard and I could do nothing but nod and nod and nod, eyes went bleary. Then I cuddled by your side and you hugged me one more time, kissing my forehead, calming both of us down.  
I'm going to protect you, kid. You said.  
I love you Noel.My voice was turning hazy.  
We immediately fell asleep. "

"I smashed five of your guitars. Back in the studio they told me you were gone and not coming back.Then weirdly, I found myself thinking about all the time we spent in those hotel rooms during the tours, having sex and rolling joints and more. We didn't have fights at that time then,all we did is kiss and have sex and smoke. Time slowly slipped out of our hands, too slow to remind me that it's gonna end someday. It was fucking stupid of me to think it could last forever. I also remembered the fight we had in the studio,but I know that's not the real reason you left. You said to the press, "I can't stand working with him anymore. If I can't hide from him, I'll just quit.I'm fuckin leaving." I really didn't care about your feelings at that time. I was too high to do it. It was fucked up of me, I know. But when it finally comes to me, all was too late. I dropped to my knees among the guitar pieces and began to sob. I wanted to shout ,to roar, but all I did is cry and let the tears stream down my nose and drip to the ground. For no reason the picture just came to me all of a sudden, We lying on the bed in the hotel room smoking, shit faced and you were saying all kinds of rubbish.At a time it was so fucking vivid,as if it was happening right in front of my eyes. Then I realized they're all there behind me looking at me, not knowing what to do. I know it's all over,our passions,our dreams, and I was too stupid not to notice earlier.So I wiped away my tears, stood up and said, I'm disbanding Oasis.Off you go."

"I'm having dreams of us running together, me chasing after you when we're kids.I fell down and begun to cry out loud: Noel, Noel. But you never went back to help me.You just stopped and turned around, staring at me that far, waiting for me to stand up by myself, clap off the dust and wipe off the tears and walk to you.Then when I joined you again,you would look at me,look at my dirty little face and say,You know what,you're really clumsy and I hate playing with you. And I'll be confused, not knowing what it meant. I love you Noel, I would say in that sweet little voice, as that's the only sentence makes sense to me. Our mam always laughed when she heard me. What a lovely little brother you have,Noely, she would say. I'm always unsure if you ever loved me in our childhood.But you only rolled your eyes and when I tended to ask what did you mean by 'clumsy' ', you were already so far gone, so much ahead of me you were barely visible.So I squeaked and ran, and it happens all over again. You were just cold as if it comes from your bone, just like what you are now. "

"I think I've did all I could to form a proper apology,but it never seemed to work. I begged you for like more than 10 years and you didn't came back. Other people's always telling me to forget about you,it doesn't worth it and you need to live your life.I don't know.I'm living my life and it's going really well,but still I wanted to say:Noel,don't wait until it gets too late. Don't make the mistake I've already made. "

"Come home."

-End-

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I've just signed up and I'm sooooo excited to be here. I got to know Oasis only this February and this band is FUCKIN fire.I really really really love the songs and more,the Gallagher brothers. So this is my first fan fiction about this incest relationship that nearly drove me crazy and took up most of my spare time during these several months. I hope it turned out readable.Also feel free to leave comments(Please I really need them lol).  
> Love you guys :)


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